If you are thinking about it, then you’re not a tool. You’re not a tool in the way your mother might tell you you’re not stupid, you just did something stupid.
If you’re thinking about it, you should probably sit down. Because this will be a different type of thinking. A foreign type. The type of thinking that females do without thinking.
You’ve done something toolish, and you need to figure out what.
So why didn’t she say ‘You’ve done something toolish’ then?
Because where’s the kick in that? Where’s the bite. The sting. Where’s the slight bit of hurt that might make you ponder. And from her point of view, where’s the satisfaction?
‘Tool’ encapsulates all manner of male failings, short of anything requiring an arrest, a divorce, a break-up*, or a simple parting of ways*.
Being called a tool is like being called a man. An ordinary, flesh and blood with a standard side of toolishness man. Not the type of man she read about in books or saw on a big screen.
What is that flutter? Is that an emotion? Anger? Indignation? Frustration? Fear of inadequacy? Are you comforting your with the giant hole you see in her logic?
What about the women in books and movies?
There is a fundamental reason why this supposed hole shrinks and closes.
Men aren’t dreamers the way women are. They won’t sigh at the end of a book, or go teary-eyed during a movie. They don’t imagine their lives making epic tales, complete with a leading main character. They won’t dream of finding someone to rival the heroes living between pages or curled on a film roll. Well, maybe they will dream. But they won’t expect it.
You’ve been called a tool because you failed her. Yes yes, but how? What did you do?
DO NOT ASK THAT.
Asking will result in a death glare. Or a death smile and the dreaded ‘Nothing’.
If you’re wondering what they mean, it’s that your failing is so screamingly obvious that she cannot comprehend you not hearing it. Inside, she’d question your status as a creature with higher brain function.
You have to know. You have to figure it out. At the very least, you have to really think about it.
If you care, that is.
If you don’t, don’t be silly;she knows. She might not want to accept it, simply because she’s content to let things continue, but she does know. She won’t be surprised by the ending.
And following that, she’s not surprised that you’re toolish.
So why all the fuss?
Because she wants you to not be.
She wants you to never fail her. To be someone she can be proud of and satisfied with. She wants you to care about her enough to not be toolish. Because if you care about her, you think about her, and if you think about her, you don’t fail.
So what qualifies as a failure?
Now that you’re sitting down thinking about this, one would hope you’ve thought of some things. I’m sure they’re the obvious, clichéd things which I’m not going to mention.
I will, however, tell you that the tiniest of things can equal a fail. The smallest of blunders. Inactions that just slipped through the spaces between your outside life and your life with her.
They are so small, I’m sorry to say that you won’t see them when you put your memories on rewind to search. To you, they were nothing. They don’t count. And why would you remember something that was nothing. But to her, they exposed inattention.
So, what? She wants attention 24/7?
She wants you to want to give her your full attention all the time. And ideally, to actually give it when you can. Not after everything else, when there’s nothing left. First. In between. During if possible, and after.
So I’ve basically told you that you are inherently toolish and you’ll never be able to figure out what you did that was toolish.
All you can do is hope she forgets, or wear a cup and ask her.
*On-going toolishness will result in this.